Sometimes in life, the pace quickens, to-do lists pile up, and life demands more of us again. Whether it’s family pressures, difficult relationships, work, money worries, or simply the demands of everyday life, it can soon take a toll on sleep, mood, and even health.
To understand why stress happens and what we can do about it, we sat down with Platfform Wellbeing’s Lead Counsellor, Katie Pledge, and Head of Therapies, Katherine Potter. In this conversation, they explain why stress creeps up, how our ability to cope shifts, and the small but powerful steps we can all take to feel more grounded.
What stress really is
Kath explains.
Stress is your body’s way of reacting to pressures. It influences how we feel, think, and behave. That might look like being irritable, tearful, constantly tired, or even disconnecting from people. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much you do, it’s never enough.
Katie agrees that stress is often sneaky.
It creeps in slowly. We get so used to pushing through that we don’t notice it until it reaches breaking point
That’s your body’s way of telling you things are getting too much.
The window of tolerance
Both Katie and Kath describe something called the “window of tolerance,” a way of understanding how well we can cope, connect, and respond to what’s happening around us.
When you’re in that window, you can think clearly, handle challenges, and stay connected. But high stress, trauma, or lack of support can shrink that window, making everything feel overwhelming.
Katie adds that the window is not fixed.
It can grow again, even in challenging environments. That’s the encouraging part.
Practical steps to ease the load
When stress builds, Katie suggests starting with awareness.
Ask yourself what’s changed recently. Has your workload crept up? Have things shifted at home? Are you carrying more than usual?
And whether these changes are temporary or here to stay. Naming what’s going on can be the first step towards working out what might help.
Kath recommends reflecting on past experiences.
Think about other times you’ve felt this way. What got you through? Maybe you reached out for support or made time for yourself. And then look at the less helpful patterns too. Avoiding responsibilities or regularly relying on alcohol might offer short-term relief, but they are less helpful in the long run
Both agree it helps to focus on what you can control.
Not everything is, but some things might be. Break big tasks into smaller steps, set boundaries like switching off emails after work, or ask for help when you need it. Being honest when your plate is full can also help
Recognising your limits and communicating them clearly can help to protect your wellbeing
Kath adds,
Never underestimate the basics. Taking breaks, getting outside, going for a walk, and making time for activities that bring you joy can all help you to feel more grounded. And sharing how you feel with trusted friends or colleagues can lift your mood and remind you you’re not alone
You might even find a boost by volunteering or joining a community group.
The stress bucket activity
One of their most relatable tools is the “stress bucket” metaphor.
Katie explains.
Imagine an invisible bucket inside you that collects all your stress. Everything, work, home life, money, health, drips into that bucket. Some days it’s manageable, other days it’s close to overflowing
“Everyone’s bucket is a different size. What overwhelms one person might not affect another, and that’s okay. But when it overflows, you might feel snappy, on edge, or exhausted. That’s your cue to let some stress out
Healthy coping strategies act like taps on the side of the bucket, releasing pressure.
Katie lists them as “finding purpose, setting boundaries, moving your body, spending time with people who lift you, or simply asking for help.”
Kath notes the importance of spotting unhelpful strategies too.
Overworking, numbing out, saying yes to everything, or avoiding responsibilities might help short-term, but they quickly refill the bucket.
Start small.
Ask yourself: One thing I’m already doing is… One thing I will do differently is…And remember, you’re human. Small steps still count.
When big decisions add pressure
Sometimes stress comes not just from the day-to-day, but from bigger life choices.
“Maybe you’re feeling stuck. That’s when it helps to think outside the box. Ask yourself: Is this the right job for me? Do I want to try something new? Is this friendship really supportive? Big decisions can be scary, but reflecting and talking them through with someone you trust can bring clarity
Safe spaces to talk
Finally, Katie and Kath highlight the importance of seeking professional help when needed.
Sometimes we all need a safe, confidential space to talk
Kath agrees:
Whether you’re facing a specific challenge or just not feeling like yourself, that space can help you explore what’s on your mind
This article was part of our working relationship with The Swansea Edit.
Interested in counselling?
If you don’t know what type of therapy could help you, that’s OK. The first step is to book an initial appointment where we’ll talk to you to find out what kind of counselling will work best.
We know how important it is to have the right therapist who understands you. Assessments are done by our in-house counsellors, who have a lot of knowledge and know our team well. They’ll guide you through the entire process and pair you with a counsellor best suited to your needs.